Things that aren't as important as they should be.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Shirley, I wish they were kidding.

Monday, November 29th 2010

     I looked into the mirror but could not see myself through the mist. That’s when I saw her blood red eyes behind me. I turned to face my demon cold and vulnerable.

     “Say my name.” Her voice penetrated my skin and sent flames up my sinuses. My resolve began to wane.

     “Just leave me alone… Ravenessa Collins.”

     “Well done. Glad to see you back in the Game.”

     Lunch will never be the same again. Connie and I were splitting our Twinkies and laughing at Toby’s awful Frosty the Snowman impression (Yes, he does all of the traditional Christmas Special characters. I almost choked on my Chef Boy R’ Dee when he tried reenacting an entire scene from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.) Out of nowhere… Vanessa Barlow casually walks over and sits next to me.

     VANESSA BARLOW sat next to me. We all stare at her and she quietly says “Hey Pen, how ya been?”

     I don’t want to sound like a cliché, but I was literally hit with a bazillion OMFG reactions all at once. I was semi-paralyzed. This girl has gone out of her way to distance herself from me for almost 2 years now. After 30 seconds or so, I just said “Fine, how about you?”

     We made small talk and I introduced her to Connie and her tag team boyfriends. She was oddly calm… and nice. Too nice? All through 8th grade and then these first few months of high school I was a leper to her and now she wants to, I dunno, give me a kidney. We’re supposed to study together Wednesday but I’m still not sure why I agreed to it.

     I got home tonight and had to finally come to grips with the fact that Dancing With The Stars has been replaced with Skating With The Stars and my life is empty because of it. I didn’t think they made a form of figure skating that I didn’t find fascinating, but there ya have it.

     Before I go I want to say a very sincere RIP to Leslie Nielsen. I saw Airplane like 80 times before I turned 10. It’s part of why I’m such a smart-ass to people. To this day I can’t help but giggle when I hear the word “surely.”

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