Things that aren't as important as they should be.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

toodles peeps.

Thursday, December 30th 2010

     So Vanessa just left. Weird. Weird. Just Weird. She came over and we exchanged gifts, as planned. She claimed to “love” the gift card and gave me a big hug. She gave me a cute matching scarf/ gloves / hat set which I really do love. She invited me and Connie over to her house for a New Years sleepover. She also said that she “still wants to talk about everything that happened and she’s sorry that it went down like that but at least we’re still friends after everything.” I still have no idea what she is talking about.

     I watched 7 episodes of Melissa and Joey today. I just needed to write that down to truly believe it. I am officially bored enough to miss school. Not quite writing Kim Possible fanfic bored, but really close.

     Anyhoo, I will be out tomorrow night but don’t worry, I am still calculating votes and will grace you with my best of 2010 lists very very soon. Until next year, ciao.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Evil takes back the night.

Wednesday, December 29th 2010

     I have a cold / flu / plague. I don’t want to do anything.

     Emails. Sure.

     Roland, my good friend at As always, I appreciate your concern. I will try to do a good deed tomorrow, but it won’t be for my mother. I also will not try to “introduce Connie to her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” I don’t think she’d be into it. It’s a Kosher thing I think.

     Cindy F, aka, welcome to the site. To answer your questions, Selma Hayak is much prettier than P Cruz, and James Roday over Paul Wesley all the way. As for Lord Vaslerin, I don’t think his head would actually explode, but I do hope someone does try one day.

     Sick. Blah. Bye.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Target Gift Card

Tuesday, December 28th 2010

     Connie’s mom drove us to Target today and the Caped Casanova (aka Bernard, aka Vaslering, aka don’t get me started) tagged along. I usually love going to Target, especially when I have a gift card, but Mr. Creep’s constant questions about Vanessa ruined it for me. He actually suggested I get her a bra. I made a puking sound and his mother made him go wait in the car. Her I like.

     I ended up using my 75 dollar gift card to buy her a 25 dollar gift card and I’m saving the rest for a future trip. The check out girl looked at me funny. Connie got boots and I think Bernard got a vest. Remind me one day to go on my vest are stupid, ugly and useless rant. Vanessa invited me over after school Thursday to exchange gifts and decide where we wanted to do New Years Eve.
     My bootleg DVD business didn’t generate the kind of revenue I like this year (I guess people are finally figuring out how to download torrents) so even with my Christmas cash the guitar fund is still stuck at a paltry 200 dollars. Does anyone know how much capital you need to start up a triangle scheme?

     I feel moved today, so I give you another poem.

Once upon a time there was a girl,
With no aspirations or dreams.
A mad, bored girl,
Who couldn’t tell a stitch from a seam.

     Okay, not so inspired I guess. I’m gonna eat some string cheese and dream of power chords.

Monday, December 27, 2010

You are NOT the father!

Monday, December 27th 2010

     There is no bigger waste than being snowed in on a day when there is no school. The storm was too brutal to go to the supermarket yesterday and I didn’t feel like helping my mom dig out the car today so I had to have Chunky soup for lunch and a combination of 3 frozen dinners tonight. I thought I had a complaint there, but I guess not. Afterwards I called Connie. Toby took her out for lunch and Blake took her out for dinner. Evidently her parents also think it’s okay for her to “play the field like Cleopatra.” I think it’s a bit slutty but hey, you know me. I love seeing the good in people. Hopefully she can get me tickets when she’s on one of Maury’s paternity test shows. Those are my faves.

     I’m gonna watch Veronica Mars until I pass out. Night night.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Trinkets, Ornaments and False Sentiments.

Sunday, December 26th 2010

     Home at last. Joy. I guess I shouldn’t complain about being able to escape from Delaware early. I don’t know if my mom would have made it much longer without beating my grandmother with the Christmas tree. It’s kinda funny watching my mom get picked apart at first but eventually even I feel bad for her. And my dad has a lot of issues fitting in with my mom’s side of the family. I am too old to talk to the rest of the kids and too young to be taken seriously by most of the adults. My family is awkward enough when we’re by ourselves, we don’t need people pointing at us making it worse.

     So this year’s “Storm of the Century!” came at the perfect time for me. I got to open all my gifts, eat a fancy roast and peach pie and have a few glasses of wine with dinner, but I didn’t have to suffer through another day of my cousins watching Harry Potter. We were able to escape The Lamest Place on Earth at 5 a.m. and beat all the snow and traffic.

     I had a pretty good haul this year. I got a bunch of random junk and a few gift cards. My aunt Hilary gave me a 30 dollar Five Below gift card. She’s my favorite. My mom got me a jacket and some jeans, my dad got me the shirts that I used his credit card to buy. They look great on my and my dad complimented my great taste. I swear, I will never learn a lesson ever again.

     Vanessa Barlow called me yesterday to wish me a merry Christmas. I said thank you and now I have to buy her a gift because she’s coming over next week to drop off mine. I also made plans to make plans with her for New Year’s Eve. Before you start judging me, I will tell you what I told Connie. “I know.”

     Connie is Jewish, so she just called because she was bored. She somehow managed to keep her Jewishness a secret from Toby and Blake, who both bought her several Christmas presents. I don’t understand how she managed to work out being New Jersey’s first teen Bachelorette, but I admire her duplicity. She has two boys fighting for her 24/7. I have stuffed animals. Don’t get me wrong, they’re awesome stuffed animals, but still, I have to wonder what am I doing wrong? Is there really that much difference between and A and a B cup?

     On the ride home I was bored (I know, shocking) and wrote another poem for the season.

Xmas Girl

Take you trinkets and your ornaments,
Your bag of toys and false sentiments,
Mistletoes, and red green clothes,

Take your trinkets and your ornaments,
Your bag of toys and your false sentiments,
When I was a little girl, I used to hope for something more.

It’s Christmas time so leave me alone,
I’ve played your games and held my nose.
I’ve learned where to sit and when to hide.
I’ve tried to smile the broadest smile.
I’ve hidden my disdain all through the house.
Nobody noticed, not even a mouse.

It’s Christmas time so leave me alone.
Take your trinkets and your ornaments,
Your bag of toys and false sentiments,
Mistletoes and red green clothes,
When I was a little girl,
I used to hope for something more.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Usual Business and The Constant Things.

Thursday, December 23rd 2010

     Tomorrow morning my family gets into the car to go to Delaware. Help. I packed my chargers and few books, so I should be able to avoid everyone until it’s time to open gifts or dessert. It’s not that I hate my family, it’s just that I hate being around them. My parents may be cold and unfeeling, but at least they’re not as annoying as the rest of them. Every year I’m doomed to being poked and prodded by idiotic grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and some other losers who I don’t share blood with but have no place else to go. The only variable: whether I’m enduring hell in Delaware or hell in Freehold.

     The wagon is filled with presents so it’s going to be a cramped 3 hour ride for me. As usual, all I am giving everyone is warm wishes and best intentions, and you just can’t wrap those.

     Next week I’ll post my best of 2010 lists for music and movies. I’ve also decided on a New Year’s resolution. Next year I want to write more in this journal or spend less time on my computer, whichever happens first.

     So to all the wonderful fake friends I’ve made on the internet, I wish you a merry happy super holiday. Until then, I leave you with my latest poem.

The Constant Things.

It’s all one big regret. You can hang your hat on it.
I had to understand before I hated it.
You could listen to what I listened to.
You could learn a thing or two before.
I’d bet my hat on it, before I’d bet my hat on it.

I’m a constant. I like broken things.
Buried at sea, my hat was buried at sea.
Who do you think you are?

I understand customs. You could hardly understand.
Continue to buckle until it makes some sense.
Just go downhill in general for sure.
You could learn a thing or two before.
You’ll get to where I am, before you’ll get where I am.

I’m a constant. I like broken things.
Buried at sea, my hat was buried at sea.
Who do you think you are?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Accepting the little things.

Wednesday, December 22nd 2010

     Connie came over for lunch today. We argued about Narnia. Again. I am trying really, really hard to be nicer to her, but the girl tries my patience on a daily basis. Whenever she says something too stupid for comprehension I just keep telling myself “I know I’m not perfect, I know I’m not perfect.”

     Emails! I didn’t have time to sort through all 5 of the emails you sent, but I did my best. is dying to know, “Do you think bats are cute?”

     Sure, why not? I think most animals are cute as soon as they’re stuffed.

     My old friend “How do you think Jesus will judge you for using your father’s credit card.”

     Roland, leave me the hell alone. It’s not like I killed anyone. Even my dad isn’t that pissed anymore. I’m pretty sure he wrapped the tee shirts and is giving them to me for Christmas. That’s what thieves like me like to call a Win-Win Sitch.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The new Ghost Whisperer

Tuesday, November 21st 2010

     Good evening. I have been depressed. It’s not just the grounding, the fact that Vanessa stopped talking to me again or the fact that Brint NEVER called and I saw him with an ugly girl at Bath and Body Works yesterday. It isn’t the fact that I don’t have school for weeks (I’m not sure, my mom keeps track of that for me.) It’s not that I’m spending Christmas in Delaware, the ass suck capital of the world, where I will be eating dry turkey and talk to family members about the amazing phenomena known as aging. “Oh yes, very true, I have grown. Yes, soon I will in fact be grown up.”

     These are all general “My Life Sucks” things that I have come to accept in my accelerated awareness. What really depresses me is Chad Michael Murray’s career. What the hell happened? He was in a bunch of decent movies before and during One Tree Hill, and as a member of the OTH army I assure you, there are hundreds of thousands of people who would follow him to the ends of the earth. Yet there I was, watching Christmas Cupid on ABC Family today. It was awesome, of course, but I just can’t believe he isn’t doing anything bigger. Can’t he at least get a cable show or something? Anything? He’d make a great Ghost Whisperer. Well, he can like, be partner’s with Jennifer Love Hewitt (I can’t control who I like and who I’m loyal to.)

     In case you were wondering why Vanessa isn’t talking to me anymore the answer is: I don’t know.

     #1 on the list of things that I will ignore because I can’t control them: Vanessa Barlow.

     #2 Connie’s eyebrows.

     Goodnight. I will leave you with some silly links and pictures of dreamboats.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Rise from the ashes.

Sunday, December 19th 2010

     Free at last. Sort of at least. During dinner tonight my dad gave me a really serious look and asked me if I’d “learned my lesson and promise never to do something so foolish again.” I nodded emphatically and viola, my punishment was lifted on a probation status. I’m going to be quick here because my internet time will be both limited and monitored for the foreseeable future.

     Here is a quick list of the lessons I actually learned while I was grounded.

That’s all.

     I will be sure to catch you all up on my life during Christmas vacation. I did my year’s best etc lists and saw some of the worst movies of all time. If you’re like dying to know what I’ve been doing I can recap my glorious day today for you. I watched a Storage Wars marathon. Best show ever.

     I did make a few friends in prison and they were the highlight of my vacation. Here are a few pictures. Talk to you soon. Hopefully.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Bad bad bad

Okay i have to be really quick here. I'm at the library and have like 2 seconds to spare. i've been grounded for about a week now. My dad found out that i used his card for the tee shirts. I can't do anything until they decide on what further action needs to be taken. Anyway, i'm alive, have lots to tell you (sorta) as soon as i can.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Save it for later.

Monday, December 5th 2010

     Me and Connie finally went to see Tangled after school today. Connie thought it was the greatest movie she’d ever seen. A bit over the top but I have to admit I liked it a lot too. I never paid attention to the Rapunzel story before and I never knew that her biological father was the Burger King. As it stands, I think Rapunzel is the second best Disney Princess ever and definitely the prettiest. I’m going to have to update my lunchbox collection now. I think I may have broken my diet at the theater. Does it count if you split all the food with someone?

     Is it bad that I don’t know wtf (grammar check, is wtf supposed to be capitalized?) WikiLeaks are? My parents were talking about it at the dinner table and I was completely lost. I almost asked if it had something to do with an internet dam, but opted to eat in silence while staring at the broccoli on my plate.

     My dad apologized to me for Saturday’s debacle. I don’t know why. I forgave him, because after all I am a gracious young lady. Also, I stole his credit card this afternoon to buy some tee shirts, so I figure I should be one up on him. I got a few shirts and had them shipped to Connie’s house and I guess I can just say I got them at the Salvation Army if my mom asks.

   After dinner I looked up a few old kids shows my mom used to watch, Hattytown and Paddington Bear. They were actually kinda cool. I’m gonna go watch Coraline until I fall asleep.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

An Epoch Ago.

Sunday, December 5th 2010

     I’m still too traumatized to write much so instead I present to you, as promised, chapter one of my dystopian sci-fi romance epic, Spoiled by the Spoils.

     Marina swore she’d never love again after WW4. Now she stood overlooking the wasteland, clutching her secrets to her tender bosom.

     The faces of The Fallen hovered over her body like ghosts on meat racks, covered in soot and ash. Marina closed her eyes and took a step forward. She was ready to be judged.

     As she waited she thought back to her childhood. She was a 12 year old ingĂ©nue sneaking into the sweets factory with an empty knapsack and no shoes. The factory had a storefront which sold packaged delights and Marina had found a way to break in. After she filled her bag she ran back through the factory but when she neared the door something caught her eye.

     A large machine in the center of the room began operating. It was loud and frightening Marina was enthralled by its raging steam and violent pistons. She must have watched it for a good minute before she saw a security guard making his rounds. He noticed her and gave chase. Marina bee-lined for the exit, made it all the way to the gate and began climbing before the guard caught her and pulled her down, tearing her dress.

     She cowered and began sobbing. The man looked gigantic next to her collapsed frame. He wore a disturbingly red uniform with white boots and gloves.

     “Well, well, aren’t you a pretty girl? Don’t be afraid.” He said as he slowly lifted her off the ground. “No one is going to hurt you. What do you have in that bag young lady? Did you get some candy for yourself?”

     Marina closed her eyes shut and shook her head yes, trying to slow her tears.

     “Don’t worry kid, I won’t tell on you.” He continued with some compassion in his voice. “Just show me that pretty smile of yours.”

     Marina tentatively opened her eyes and looked up. The guard was smiling at her. She smiled back at him and he patted her on the head and led her to the main gate.

     “Go on little girl, it’s late. You should be home.”

     Marina walked through the gate and headed back towards her house. After a few steps she turned back and waved to the guard. “Thanks.”

     “You come back and visit anytime you like.”

Chapter 2: An Epoch Ago

     Long before the Darkness had settled over the entirety of Earth, Marina had seen its beginnings along the eastern coast of the United States. She was born on the Fourth of July of the year 2015, somewhere in the wilderness between Domed New York and Domed Philadelphia.

Big Sparkly Mess

Saturday, December 4th 2010

     How could I forget? What has been going on in my life that I could forget the significance of Saturday, December 4th 2010.

     My mom knew that Vanessa and Connie were coming over and I told her I had a nice afternoon of board games and movies planned. Imagine her surprise when at 11 A.M. my house was invaded by The Sundberg Children. Connie, her 12 year old sister Wendy and her 19 year old brother Bernard (he also answers to Vaslerin. No I am not kidding. He also wore the cape. No I’m not kidding.)Saturday, December 4th 2010 is the day Twilight: Eclipse is released on DVD. I had plans with Connie I’d forgotten about.

     Vanessa showed up somewhere near the end of New Moon, when Edward is unbuttoning to shirt and getting ready to walk into the sunlight and to a sparkly death. She sat there with her coat on for a full 15 minutes. I could tell she was desperately searching for a reason not to run back out the door. Bernard got up and said “Can I take your winter frock m’lady?” and she had to take it off quickly and ran over to sit next to me to get away from him ASAP. He kept trying to talk to her all through the movie and afterwards too. It was really, really creepy. He finally left at 8 because he had to drive Wendy home.

     Connie and Vanessa both got permission to sleep over and almost instantly regret it. A little bit after 9 my parents started arguing really loud. They were like cursing and everything. We couldn’t figure out what the fight was even about, but I was mortified. After about 20 minutes of solid yelling my dad slammed the door and drove off. My mom came in with some ice cream and tried to play it off like they were just having a little disagreement and apologized for all the noise. The rest of the night was super awkward and I don’t think anyone is ever going to stay over my house again.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Salad therapy.

Friday, December 3rd 2010

     Okay, so is there such thing as Post Mockingjay Traumatic Stress Syndrome? Suzanne Collins, did you have to kill everyone? (Sorry about spoilers but if you’ve gotten to the 3rd book in a series about a society that sends children into a sadistic arena to kill each other off and HAVEN’T figured out some people are going to die, then just give up now. Not just the book but everything.) Mockingjay DEVASTATED me. I really want to do a sadness-induced eating binge but I’m trying to do a healthy diet. Does Pizza Hut make a Salad Lover’s Pizza?

     Even though I had zero expectations going in and may need to start putting anti-depressants in my strawberry Quik going out, Hunger Games is the best book series I’ve ever read. I’m now emotionally invested in casting for the movie. Is it too early to start a “Chloe Moretz MUST play Katniss Everdeen” fan page?

     It’s Friday night and Connie is on a triangle date, Vanessa is in the city seeing a Broadway show with her family and I’m home. Alone. Of course. I was bored enough to go onto a few IRC channels I hadn’t been to in a few months. Oh my dear God, what was I thinking? I try to myself I’m not that pathetic, but I know I’m lying and am now beyond miserable. No offense to the fine people of the internets. I’m not judging you, I’m judging me. It’s what I do second best.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Answering all your eyebrow questions today.

Thursday, December 2nd 2010

     Okay, so before I comment on tonight’s Vampire Diaries I’d like to briefly discuss the emotional roller coaster ride that the cynically acclaimed CW drama has taken me on this year.

     I was in a delicate state when the season started. I was still mourning the loss of my fave vampire (Anna) when I had the pleasure of meeting my new fave vampire (Caroline, and believe me, no one was more shocked at that than me. I don’t think I’ve ever done such a 180 on a character before.) At first I was very excited at the prospect of Katherine running around but that didn’t last. Thanks a lot, Nina Dobrev, your tremendous range not only ruined Katherine for me, but also made me remember that I still hate you back from when you were the whore on Degrassi. As bad as she is, at least she’s not a werewolf. I hate werewolves. Werewolves always suck.

     So I’m torn. I have spent the year alternating being enraged and being awed. No matter how bad it got or how lame the mythology is becoming it was never worse than True Blood has been for 2 years. Which brings me to tonight episode…

     ENOUGH of the witches and wolves and whatevers. I like the Bonnie / Jeremy thing but I’m still not sure what compels the Gilbert children to opt death over discomfort for loved ones every time. I’m rambling now, so let me conclude with this. Bella wishes she had 2 straight guys fighting over her and the only logical conclusion for the show is for Elaina to somehow get Damon’s soul into Stefan’s body.

     I leave you tonight with a link to the best eyebrow article I’ve ever read in my entire life.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

i can't have anything i want they say i'm just too young but it's not my fault.

Wednesday, December 1st 2010

     Surreal. Kafkaesque. Mystifying. Low calorie. This was my night.

     Vanessa got here a little bit before Connie and it was weird the second we were alone in my room. We were quiet for a minute and right when I went over to put on some music on my laptop she started saying “Okay, here’s the thing…” I turned to look at her and the doorbell rang. Connie was galloping into my room before we had a chance to even talk.

     We spent the rest of the night semi-studying for exams and taking turns playing our iPods. Connie is now officially banned from choosing music forever. I hope to God that Con never finds this site, but if she ever does… JUSTIN BIEBER? REALLY CONNIE? Sorry, just had to get that out.

     Vanessa kept complimenting everything I put on and in general was nicer than she’s ever been in her entire life. I didn’t know V Bar did “civil.” She even told my mom how much she loved the “healthy snacks.” It was celery and carrots with watery Ranch dressing. I pulled out Oreo’s and leftover Halloween candy the second she left the room and we dumped the veggies, but Vanessa’s sucking up did not go unnoticed.

     Overall it wasn’t a bad night. Vanessa even got along with Connie. They talked about clothes/fashion. I think? Evidently Vanessa reminds Connie of “less scary Alexa Chung.” We’re all supposed to hang out again this weekend at my house.

     Only 3 emails this week (should I get rid of Email Wednesday!?) wants to know “I see you’re reading the Hunger Games series. So come on, who’s your choice, Peeta or Gale?”

     I only have like 70 pages left in Mockingjay. As much as it irks me that he’s named after something you dump a Falafel on, it’s Peeta, it’s always been Peeta, and it’s never been close. is dying to find out. “Hey Penelope, who is your favorite television doctor?”

     Doctor Who. Duh.

     Finally, simply asks, “What is your favorite song of all time.”

     Easy. 24 hours by Alexz Johnson. Look it up.