Things that aren't as important as they should be.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

New Kids On The Block!

Friday, October 29th 2010

     After googling “The worst band of all time” a few times and sorting out all the results, I think I have found the answer to my music to annoy my parents problem:

New Kids On The Block.

I downloaded their greatest hits and WOW… that is some incredible crap. I can’t wait until tomorrow morning to try this horrible music out.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Wednesday, October 27th

     People are e-mailing me. Why are people e-mailing me? Anyway, I suppose I can manage to fit answering some stranger’s questions into my very busy schedule. Here we go., (i've been warned not to give real email addresses.) First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to send me your thoughts. For the record, I wasn’t always this big of a loser. I actually did have friends in grade school. I lost track with them over the summer. I have never been that outgoing to begin with and it’s just a whole lot easier to hide and not interact with people in high school.

P.S. I looked you up on Facebook. You are a grown woman and should be ashamed of yourself.

     Now, to answer your question , and the other 4 people asking. No, I am not a lesbian. I’m boring. Not gay, bi, or into furry stuff.

Monday, October 25, 2010

All Tomorrow's Parties

Monday, October 25th 2010

     Halloween is coming up and I just don’t have the energy to think up a clever costume. I still have nightmares about going costume shopping with my mom when I was a kid. She’d take me to K-mart and ask me to pick a costume out. She’d stare at me until I did and I was always pressured into picking something crappy. One year I wanted Dora the Explorer and I ended up being Diego.

     I’m probably going to do what I did last year. My dad gave me 20 dollars to buy a costume and I just pocketed it and went out for a few hours after school. He actually fell for the “my costume broke so I threw it out” excuse.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Need Ambien.

Saturday, October 23rd 2010

     I have no idea why I am awake. It is 12:41 and I’m reading the Wiki entry for the upcoming Mr. T video game. He’s fighting a mechanical Nazi army in it. I could not have made that up.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Juno has serious problems.

Friday, October 22nd 2010

     I have a serious problem. Because my parents have “hip” taste in music I am at a loss for rebellion rock. When your parents listen to Sonic Youth, the Ramones and Nirvana it’s hard to find music that pisses them off.

     (On a side note, Oh my dear God, I just realized that my parents were written by Diablo Cody. Eww, Juno would totally do my dad.)

     I’ve started blasting Lesley Gore (60’s teen pop sensation, I checked) every afternoon trying to get a rise out of my mom, and then once again when my dad gets home from work. So far all I’ve gotten is a few strange looks. If I don’t get results soon I’m gonna have to do some heavy research.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Wednesday, October 20th 2010

     Connie invited Toby to eat with us today in the cafeteria. I endured 20 minutes of almost complete silence until Toby excused himself to use “the lavatory.” There was still like half an hour left in our lunch period, so I don’t know what’s up with that. Either me and Connie’s feminine wiles were too much for him or he never had to try to digest lunchroom fish fillet back in Clifton.

     I hate baseball. A few weeks of Hell’s Kitchen on hiatus because of the playoffs equals one very irate Penelope Blackheart. I need as much TV as possible so I don’t have to admit that I’m emotionally invested in Dancing With The Stars. (I didn’t like Florence Henderson anyway.)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Spoiled by the Spoils.

Saturday, October 30th 2010

     I have success! After about 30 minutes of blaring the New Kids, my mom came in screaming during “The Right Stuff.” She slammed the door behind her and screamed “ENOUGH.” Ha.

     Not only did I manage to win this battle, but I already have a plan for the next one. I overheard my parents talking about how much they detested some French movie they tried watching. Dad even said that “I just can’t stand the way those people talk.” I’ve got a healthy collection of 60’s French Pop that is dying to be played at an ear piercing volume.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Totally scary but beautiful new boy.

Tuesday, October 19th 2010

     My life can never be the same again. Not after seeing HIM. When Mrs. Carlsberg announced we had a new student I could never have been prepared for walked through the door. Penderson Reelings was like no other boy I’d seen before. His eyes shone as if the sun, moon and stars all joined forces to dance in the heavens. I almost died when he sat down right next to me. It didn’t register the first time he asked me my name. I stared blankly at him until he touched my hand and asked again…

     Okay, I know we’re all supposed to be looking for Edward or Jacob but I’m telling you now, if the world’s best looking guy walked into my homeroom, I’d just assume he was either a vampire, werewolf, warlock or at the very least a half demon with a vengeful ex-girlfriend.

     Also, like any sensible, self respecting, semi-literate girl over the age of 12, I love Jane Austen. That being said, if I ever did meet my Mr. Darcy, I’d probably assume he was gay and ignore him after the first time he insulted me.

     Here’s what really happened. We did get a new student in English today but his name wasn’t Penderson, it was Toby. He wasn’t a gorgeous bad boy with a heart of gold. He was a borderline midget wearing a sweater vest. He didn’t come from any where exotic like New York or L.A. or Chicago. He came from Clifton. Connie kinda liked him though.

Sunday, October 17, 2010


Saturday, October 16th 2010

     I ate an entire box of Eggo’s today. It just kinda happened.

     The only other exciting news from the past few days: I started reading the Hunger Games because I found it left behind in a booth at a Denny’s. My first impression, where is all the food? Very, very misleading title.

     My grandmother is visiting from Tom’s River so I have to get up early for church tomorrow. As you can imagine, I’m a very spiritual person and in no way am annoyed that I have to put on a dress. I’ll be up all night trying to decide which of the 2 dresses I own I will wear.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


Friday, October 15th, 2010

     My mom just walked into my room and asked me if I knew what “Sexting” was. I said no and she said okay and walked out. Shame, I really would have loved to hear her explain it.

     Was supposed to go to a movie with Connie tonight but she got grounded for getting a B on her Algebra test. I got a C, but my parents don’t have any expectations for me so I could have still gone out if I wanted. As much as I hate staying home going out alone freaks me out more so I stayed in and watched Degrassi.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

New Friend? also, do i really have to give a title to every damn post?

Wednesday, October 13th 2010

     It has come to my attention (thank you WildCass94 for your delightful e mail) that perhaps I may complain too much. I know that I am not homeless or abused or anything. I am not based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

     Actually, I AM overweight… and I do have issues with my parents. So I guess I am a little like Precious after all. I mean I know I’m not Blonsky big but I know I can stand to lose a few pounds.

     Anyway, I think I may have made a friend today. This girl in Algebra class was sitting behind me and asked “What’s wrong?” It was the most sensible question I’ve heard all year. Her name is Connie and she was wearing Silly Bandz. I’m a magnet to all that is hip.

     I asked her if she wanted to come to Subway with me for lunch, but her mother packed her one of those Chef Boy R Dee microwave lunches. I guess she didn’t realize that we don’t have personal microwaves at Heller High, so Connie had to go home for lunch.

     I actually gave her my cell number and she called me tonight. She’s not the worst person on earth, so we talked a bit. We would have talked longer, but I couldn’t pretend to like Glee. Besides, I told my parents that I have 3 tests tomorrow so I really need to pretend to study tonight.

Monday, October 11, 2010

about me?

Monday, October 11th 2010

     I suppose if I’m doing this I should go through the trouble of describing myself. In one word: unexceptional. I’m not great looking or particularly good at anything.

     I love to read but I’m too lazy to return library books and too cheap to buy new books. I end up reading lots of used books and the sort of cheap paperbacks you get at CVS. I’m a prisoner to other people’s horrible crap taste. Anyway, I read Twilight and wondered if Bella was as eternally bored as I am. Also, I wondered if anyone ever used the word “glowered” out loud in the history of the universe.

     My father has never taken me to work. I don’t have the slightest clue as to what he does for a living. I think he works for Passaic County but I can’t be sure. My mother has never asked me to help with anything. Ever. Not Cooking, not cleaning, Christmas tree decorating, packing, nothing. I think she drinks but again, don’t know for sure.

     So this is me and this is my journal. (I refuse to say blog.) My life has no meaning. I’m just collecting pointless tasks to get through a single day. Please feel free to email me at with any questions.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I am officially this bored.

Sunday, October 10th, 2010.

     It all started with a dream.

     I was surrounded by darkness, but I could still hear his voice calling me. The wind smelled like TERROR. Every ounce of my body was begging me to run, I knew I wouldn’t move an inch. My feet were cold. My knees were scraped. I stopped feeling. All I could hear was His voice screaming Destiny. My choices… The kingdom depended on me.

     I’ve had the same dream for the last two months. What could it mean? Was I really destined for greatness? …what was my real name?

     I’m just kidding. I wish I had a dream that interesting. In reality, my dreams are just like my life: dull and meaningless. My name is Penelope Blackheart and I don’t even know why I’m writing this.

     In addition to fake dreams I go to a fake school with fake people, myself included. I’m a freshman at Heller Park High and have yet to make a single friend I like enough to hang out with after school. Nothing is happening at all and I hate everyone and I hate myself. All that being said, I’m usually in a better mood than this.