Duck Umbrella Rules

Wednesday, February 2^nd 2011

     Today I overslept for the first time ever in my life pretty much and was late for school. It was creepy because my mom instantly asked me if I was on drugs. I told her, “No Mom, I’m not on drugs, I just overslept. Why don’t you go get me some coffee so I can get this day going?” She gave me a dirty look and said “This isn’t over” evil villain style but she did make me coffee. Wuss.

     I’d rather my mom think I was tweeking meth all night than know the truth. I tried going to bed and it just wasn’t working, so somehow I spent an hour researching and pricing beekeeper outfits and related gear.

     Beekeeping is so much cooler than you think. You get to wear a beekeeper suit first off. Also, honey. Lots of honey. It’s a sweetener…

     Emails!

     Actually before emails, I have to announce the contest winner! Cindy F did in fact prove she was more bored than I was. “Penelope, I’m more bored than you. I spent my day watching Abba videos on Youtube, taking screen shots and then putting in captions commenting on their clothes. After that I watched Teen Wolf.”

     To be honest, I don’t actually think she was more bored than I was, but she WAS the only reply I got so WE HAVE A WINNER! Cindy, check yer email later.

     Now, Emails! AgentOrangutan@fakemail.com asks “Can you take Drake seriously knowing he used to be Jimmy on Degrassi?”

     I HATE Drake because his music blows. I HATED him before I even heard his music because he was Jimmy on Degrassi. Has a Degrassi character ever sucked as much as Jimmy did? He was in a freaking wheelchair after he got shot and I still wasn’t rooting for him.

     MargieSimon@fakemail.com wants to know, “Do you ever get your period? I’ve been following you for a few months and you’ve never mentioned it.”

     Oh Margie, of course I do, but this isn’t Health Class so I try not to discuss it. I also won’t be discussing nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach or diarrhea. (Why the hell did they make diarrhea so hard to spell? I always have to spell check it. Hmmm perhaps I am typing out diarrhea way too much.)

     I got a new umbrella today. It is the best umbrella on the face of the earth.