Wednesday, March 16th 2011
So it’s Wed again and I guess I’m giving up the email thing for a bit longer. Sorry the blog is schizo, but you can imagine how much thought an effort goes into it. Nothing new happening. Gained 5 pounds since I accidentally checked my weight and have no reaction to that. Friday I’m going to Vanessa’s for a bad movie night. Which reminds me, I present to you the latest in my movies no one really saw series. I review 2 films today, Space Camp and Transmorphers.
“Why don’t you just evaporate, Laser Brain!” this is the point where I turned Space Camp off. Don’t worry, I read the wiki. Trust me, I didn’t miss anything. For some reason Space Camp inspired, I decided to download Transmorphers. Talk about night and day! Space Camp is a giant bag of crap about crap, and Transmorphers is a beautifully crafted tale of a robot how had hope when humanity had none. That’s right, I was freaking inspired. Every single time they said “We only have shot at this” I was enthralled. I felt as if Transmorphers was God’s way of paying me back the time I lost trying to watch Transformers, (btw, this movie is better than that hunk of balls in every single aspect.)
The movie starts with “In 2009 we discovered life on another planet. A planet 20 million light years away. We sent a message of peace. A message of friendship. And 5 years later we received their response.” Cut to scene of 800 gazillion spaceships attacking and destroying most of the earth, sending survivors underground as “within hours 90% of the earth’s population was destroyed.” Just brilliant.
The ending was beautiful as this lost robot soul gave his live to preserve humanity… I think. The last 20 minutes were really hard to follow but still fantastic. In fact, since I can’t do it justice I’m just gonna copy the end of the wikipedia summary.
”Back at the radio station, Mitchell, now aware of his cyborg abilities, sacrifices himself to take out the tower and buy enough time for Itchy and the rest of the group to escape. This stops the reproduction and destroys the station. All over the world, the robots are shut down and defeated. With the battle won, Karina and Von Ryberg are reunited and the surviving humans see the sun shine through the clouds for the first time in centuries.”
I give it an 8 out of 10 on the Hammer Pants Scale for Silly Awesomeness. (thank you VH1 I love the 80’s for that reference point.) Actually, I think I’d give it 8 of 10 on any scale. Yeah, I highly recommend this film and will def be downloading Transmorphers 2: fall of man.
Also, to bring the silly, www.penisland.net