Things that aren't as important as they should be.

Showing posts with label ducks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ducks. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Duck Umbrella Rules

Wednesday, February 2nd 2011

     Today I overslept for the first time ever in my life pretty much and was late for school. It was creepy because my mom instantly asked me if I was on drugs. I told her, “No Mom, I’m not on drugs, I just overslept. Why don’t you go get me some coffee so I can get this day going?” She gave me a dirty look and said “This isn’t over” evil villain style but she did make me coffee. Wuss.

     I’d rather my mom think I was tweeking meth all night than know the truth. I tried going to bed and it just wasn’t working, so somehow I spent an hour researching and pricing beekeeper outfits and related gear.

     Beekeeping is so much cooler than you think. You get to wear a beekeeper suit first off. Also, honey. Lots of honey. It’s a sweetener…

     Emails!

     Actually before emails, I have to announce the contest winner! Cindy F did in fact prove she was more bored than I was. “Penelope, I’m more bored than you. I spent my day watching Abba videos on Youtube, taking screen shots and then putting in captions commenting on their clothes. After that I watched Teen Wolf.”

     To be honest, I don’t actually think she was more bored than I was, but she WAS the only reply I got so WE HAVE A WINNER! Cindy, check yer email later.

     Now, Emails! AgentOrangutan@fakemail.com asks “Can you take Drake seriously knowing he used to be Jimmy on Degrassi?”

     I HATE Drake because his music blows. I HATED him before I even heard his music because he was Jimmy on Degrassi. Has a Degrassi character ever sucked as much as Jimmy did? He was in a freaking wheelchair after he got shot and I still wasn’t rooting for him.

     MargieSimon@fakemail.com wants to know, “Do you ever get your period? I’ve been following you for a few months and you’ve never mentioned it.”

     Oh Margie, of course I do, but this isn’t Health Class so I try not to discuss it. I also won’t be discussing nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach or diarrhea. (Why the hell did they make diarrhea so hard to spell? I always have to spell check it. Hmmm perhaps I am typing out diarrhea way too much.)

     I got a new umbrella today. It is the best umbrella on the face of the earth.